Trauma is a psychological overreaction that can be resolved through reflection and therapy, according to this level-headed self-helper.

Contreras, a therapist and author of Traumatization and Its Aftermath (2023), argues that we are too quick to label even minor emotional setbacks as life-changing traumas, which encourages a defeatist victim mentality. She characterizes trauma as a long-term, maladaptive response to a physical or emotional threat marked by hypervigilance, flashbacks, dysregulated emotions (exaggerated or numbed), and physical symptoms. (One of her clients, she notes, had a nightly bedtime ritual of reviewing all the ways she could die.) The author contends that, through reflection and practice, we can learn to spot and understand trauma reflexes and replace them with healthy, reasonable thinking. To that end, she provides readers with self-assessment quizzes along with calming exercises featuring breathing techniques, visualization of tranquil beaches, efforts to achieve small, daily wins, and lots of positive self-talk. Contreras illustrates her points with case studies, including her own history of serious illness and a kidnapping, and gives special attention to people trapped in toxic relationships with manipulative narcissists. (Her “Gaslighting Reality Check” exercise includes questions like, “Do they dismiss clear evidence—texts, timestamps, witnesses—that contradicts their version of events?”) Contreras’ therapeutic philosophy mixes cognitive behavioral therapy with Buddhist mindfulness methods, all grounded in the neuroscience of how emotions mobilize to protect us from threats but can then persist in an extreme state. She conveys all of this in lucid prose infused with down-to-earth metaphors (“external traumatizing agents are like burglars who trigger your home security system. Internal traumatizing agents are like a malfunctioning alarm that keeps going off even after the burglars have left and the house is secure”). The practical exercises (“When you notice hypervigilance taking over, recognize and name it with a reflection like this, ‘Am I getting too focused on finding danger?’”) are simple and sensible. Readers will find here a straightforward and hopeful approach to psychological healing.

A reassuring guide to healing our traumatic fixations, full of insight and useful advice.