THE PARENTING SURVIVAL KIT

: Reasonable, detailed suggestions from a child and family therapist for minimizing the stress of parenting and dealing with

common family issues.

Koman’s focus is on the psychological issues in child-rearing—from both the parents’ and the children’s perspectives. She

first offers "Seven Strategies for Surviving the Stress of Parenthood" (number one: begin by keeping expectations realistic).

Koman’s take on parenthood is that it is "hard, messy, confusing, repetitive, often frustrating work"—and also one of the most

wonderful experiences in life. Among her strategies for coping: Go at your child’s pace (it will avoid frustration all around) and

make your home a haven, a safe place for each family member. In Part II of her guide, Koman covers "Parenting Issues and

Crises and How to Deal With Them." Among the 55 topics, alphabetically arranged, are "Attachment and Bonding," "Latchkey

Kids," "Scary Experiences and Childhood Fears," and "Work-to-Home Transitions." On this last point, she counsels, "Many

parents tell me they feel as if they have two selves: a work self and a home self. The transition often creates a daily jolt." Besides

identifying and explaining the psychology of the problem, Koman offers practical help: Many parent-child conflicts are caused

or aggravated by hunger—so keep snacks for everyone available in the car for the trip home from work and daycare.

Theoretical and practical help with child-rearing, all filtered through a therapist’s eye.