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THE SECRET LIFE OF COMMUNICATION

OPENING TO UNLIMITED LOVE

Sound advice for fruitful self-reflection.

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Wilson peels back the layers of perception and communication to reveal that we’re all good enough.

Wilson begins her book discussing the four “organs” of perception: the mind, body, heart and spirit. She uses personal narratives to demonstrate how everyone uniquely conceptualizes their own lives, which can get in the way of empathy and communication. “I grew from a sensitive, intuitive, creative child into a well-educated, analytical adult who gave all of her attention to thoughts, words, and actions,” she says. “My focus was turned outside of myself…[and] I looked to others to validate my worth.” This internal conflict propelled Wilson to research how poor self-perceptions can hinder healthy communication. Next, using real-life examples, she identifies and discusses the four layers of communication. However, the transition between the four organs and the four layers is confusing at times since many of the concepts are interconnected. Wilson goes on to provide effective, seemingly simple advice to help people prepare for difficult conversations: “If your intention is to prove to someone that he or she is wrong, keep in mind that your conversation will just be an exchange of reactions.” Through case studies, she shows how her suggestions have helped other individuals change their perceptions, primarily via reflective thinking. With a client named Steve, Wilson illustrates how many roadblocks can come from the past. When Steve finds himself unable to move forward in life without a plan, Wilson asks him where in his past he may have developed a reliance on plans. “My dad,” Steve says. “He always had a plan, and we always stuck to the plan, no matter what. He taught me that planning was the key to success.” That realization, discovered using Wilson’s techniques, opens the door to fixing the dilemma.

Sound advice for fruitful self-reflection.

Pub Date: Sept. 13, 2012

ISBN: 978-1475946147

Page Count: 182

Publisher: iUniverse

Review Posted Online: Oct. 15, 2012

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GREENLIGHTS

A conversational, pleasurable look into McConaughey’s life and thought.

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All right, all right, all right: The affable, laconic actor delivers a combination of memoir and self-help book.

“This is an approach book,” writes McConaughey, adding that it contains “philosophies that can be objectively understood, and if you choose, subjectively adopted, by either changing your reality, or changing how you see it. This is a playbook, based on adventures in my life.” Some of those philosophies come in the form of apothegms: “When you can design your own weather, blow in the breeze”; “Simplify, focus, conserve to liberate.” Others come in the form of sometimes rambling stories that never take the shortest route from point A to point B, as when he recounts a dream-spurred, challenging visit to the Malian musician Ali Farka Touré, who offered a significant lesson in how disagreement can be expressed politely and without rancor. Fans of McConaughey will enjoy his memories—which line up squarely with other accounts in Melissa Maerz’s recent oral history, Alright, Alright, Alright—of his debut in Richard Linklater’s Dazed and Confused, to which he contributed not just that signature phrase, but also a kind of too-cool-for-school hipness that dissolves a bit upon realizing that he’s an older guy on the prowl for teenage girls. McConaughey’s prep to settle into the role of Wooderson involved inhabiting the mind of a dude who digs cars, rock ’n’ roll, and “chicks,” and he ran with it, reminding readers that the film originally had only three scripted scenes for his character. The lesson: “Do one thing well, then another. Once, then once more.” It’s clear that the author is a thoughtful man, even an intellectual of sorts, though without the earnestness of Ethan Hawke or James Franco. Though some of the sentiments are greeting card–ish, this book is entertaining and full of good lessons.

A conversational, pleasurable look into McConaughey’s life and thought.

Pub Date: Oct. 20, 2020

ISBN: 978-0-593-13913-4

Page Count: 304

Publisher: Crown

Review Posted Online: Oct. 27, 2020

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Dec. 1, 2020

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CALL ME ANNE

A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.

The late actor offers a gentle guide for living with more purpose, love, and joy.

Mixing poetry, prescriptive challenges, and elements of memoir, Heche (1969-2022) delivers a narrative that is more encouraging workbook than life story. The author wants to share what she has discovered over the course of a life filled with abuse, advocacy, and uncanny turning points. Her greatest discovery? Love. “Open yourself up to love and transform kindness from a feeling you extend to those around you to actions that you perform for them,” she writes. “Only by caring can we open ourselves up to the universe, and only by opening up to the universe can we fully experience all the wonders that it holds, the greatest of which is love.” Throughout the occasionally overwrought text, Heche is heavy on the concept of care. She wants us to experience joy as she does, and she provides a road map for how to get there. Instead of slinking away from Hollywood and the ridicule that she endured there, Heche found the good and hung on, with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford starring as particularly shining knights in her story. Some readers may dismiss this material as vapid Hollywood stuff, but Heche’s perspective is an empathetic blend of Buddhism (minimize suffering), dialectical behavioral therapy (tolerating distress), Christianity (do unto others), and pre-Socratic philosophy (sufficient reason). “You’re not out to change the whole world, but to increase the levels of love and kindness in the world, drop by drop,” she writes. “Over time, these actions wear away the coldness, hate, and indifference around us as surely as water slowly wearing away stone.” Readers grieving her loss will take solace knowing that she lived her love-filled life on her own terms. Heche’s business and podcast partner, Heather Duffy, writes the epilogue, closing the book on a life well lived.

A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.

Pub Date: Jan. 24, 2023

ISBN: 9781627783316

Page Count: 176

Publisher: Viva Editions

Review Posted Online: Feb. 6, 2023

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2023

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