ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NOT

Sixteen-year-old Steven Denarski enjoys square dancing with his mother. He doesn’t like sports. He’s very neat. He’s never had a girlfriend though his best friend is a girl. He’s been meaning to toss that International Male Undergear catalog under his mattress for two years now, but he hasn’t gotten around to it yet. Despite all that, he is absolutely positively not gay. He’s sure of it, so he sets out to prove it to himself and the world. Taking instruction from an ancient text on male teen sexuality, he sits with the jocks—who ignore him. He goes out with every unattached girl in his class; he usually ends up cleaning her basement. After a disastrous date with a nympho exchange student, Steven can deny the truth no longer. He comes out to his overzealously accepting best friend and finds his troubles are just beginning. Gay teen angst has rarely been so funny. The characters might be a bit slight, and a few sit-com moments over-extended, but as a first effort on a touchy subject this will entertain readers no matter which team they play for. (Fiction 12+)