THE BIG QUESTIONS BOOK OF SEX & CONSENT

A teen sex-education guide that emphasizes consent.

An author for teens and middle graders as well as a sex-education lecturer on college campuses, Freitas shapes what she’s learned from the students she works with to guide teens on their own paths as sexual beings. A lengthy, philosophical opening may lose some readers, but it starts teens thinking critically about their “relational ethic” in regard to friendships. The author then expands this framework to a “sexual ethic.” Her candid, conversational style is inclusive, recognizing both that relationships aren’t a one-size-fits-all heterosexual construct and the intersections that race, religion, and other identities add to the discussions. To create a sexual ethic, Freitas encourages teens to consider such topics as their own sexual identity, societal norms and stereotypes, and their presence on social media. These contemplations, in turn, build upon one another, culminating in a look at the nuanced nature of consent (rather than a simple yes-or-no response), how it can end sexual violence, and its relation to desire and love. Each section concludes with several questions that prompt self-reflection and journaling. The author avoids shaming readers, instead both acknowledging how some religions constrict sexual freedom and encouraging respect for personal religious choices. At odds throughout, however, are middle-grade and YA authors’ advice to their 12-year-old selves and an authorial tone more suited to complex, mature issues like vulnerability and the hookup culture of college campuses.

An important book that addresses the missing components of most sex-ed programs.