NO STRINGS ATTACHED: A Guide to a Better Relationship with Your Grown-Up Child

by Howard M. Halpern ‧ RELEASE DATE: Jan. 1, 1979

In Cutting Loose (1976), psychotherapist Howard Halpern counseled adult offspring to discard childish patterns of relating to parents; here he exhorts the parents to likewise opt for a ""loving separateness."" This advice is okay as far as it goes, but most of the elaborations lean more in the direction of folksiness than depth. At fault in most parents' inability to deal with their children objectively, Halpern says, is the parents' ""inner child,"" as fearful of abandonment and being unloved as if the parent were a baby all over again. Halpern categorizes such typical ""Song and Dance"" interactions as ""The Fear Fandango,"" ""The Shame Shimmy,"" and the ""Hootchy Kootchy"" (enter Oedipus and Electra); and he unmasks the manipulative games for what they are. But the only concrete advice to parents is to ""stop your part in the Song and Dance,"" whether your children resent you as a wishy-washy ""Charlie Brown"" father or a dominating, manipulating type. There are no guarantees, of course, that the child will hear and respond to these new parental stances, but Halpern suggests that, wholeheartedly adopted, they are innately liberating. Such specifics as in-laws, grandparenthood, and new lifestyles are dealt with by reiterating the basic ""cord-cutting"" premise. Satisfactory as a general orientation, but neither conclusive nor all-inclusive.

Pub Date: Jan. 1, 1979

ISBN: N/A

Page Count: -

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: N/A

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 1979

Categories: NONFICTION