WHERE ARMADILLOS GO TO DIE

Bagged baby spinach nurtures a strain of E. coli.

Everyone hates racist, skunk-mean Sylvester Bradshaw, but everyone eats at his restaurant anyway, because Bourré has the best catfish restaurant in Texas. The night Sylvester disappeared, his office was ransacked and his property stolen. The customers included an ex-DA, a former deputy sheriff and a retired Texas ranger, Jeremiah Spur, along with his wife Martha. Current Sheriff Dewey Sharpe, preoccupied with keeping his erectile dysfunction a private matter, is only marginally interested in Sylvester’s whereabouts, but Spur, approached by the vanished man’s daughter, finds that the case offers a respite from worrying about his wife’s E. coli hospitalization. In the waiting room, Spur meets Sylvester’s lawyer, Robert Bruni, now representing the Bradshaw sons and dealing with his baby girl’s E. coli infestation. Sylvester remains missing, but his severed thumb quickly surfaces, provoking the possible indictment of Texas A&M’s surefire Heisman contender, the legal waffling of p.i. Clyde Thomas, the political ambitions of DA Sonya Nichols and more. This being Texas, matters culminate in an over-the-top shootout, a confession so full of regional jargon that it reads like a foreign language and a triumph over E. coli that lends love a country-western air.

You might not want to live in Brenham, Texas, but its lively, unconventional characters and authorial brio (Scared Money, 2004, etc.) guarantee a few hours of blissful escapism.