I WANTED TO BE WONDERFUL

Two newly married women embark on the journey of motherhood, struggling with how expectations from others, and from themselves, alter their lives and identities.

The book opens as the unnamed narrator reflects on how she has lost herself. In trying for years to meet everyone else’s needs, she has forgotten about what truly matters to her, and she resolves to take a new approach to finding happiness. Then the story introduces its other main character, “the princess,” who has just recently married “the prince.” As they begin what is supposed to be a fairytale life, not everything is as easy as they expected. The book alternates between the perspectives of the princess and the narrator, both women giving birth to a son and a daughter. The princess’s children are called simply “the heirs,” while the narrator’s are her boy and her girl, never receiving proper names. As the women learn to care for their children, they realize they can’t devote as much time to their professions as they’d hoped, and they must adjust either their parenting strategies or their career goals. The husbands are busy trying to earn enough to support their families, but the children are hard work, and arguments between the spouses become frequent. As both marriages spiral further away from their romantic beginnings, the question at the heart of the story is whether the expectations on women to be perfect mothers are simply too much. Writing in haunting, introspective prose, the author captures the essence of early motherhood, from the hazy months of sleep-deprivation to the angst many feel about juggling careers with children. By alternating first-person narration with the story of the princess, the author also highlights how the lives of others often look more idyllic from the outside. The book is partially a commentary on the lack of support women receive when they become mothers, but it’s also an examination of how lack of communication in marriage can lead to deep fissures. While this poetic tale feels more like an allegory than a plot-driven novel, light on setting and character details, the insight into modern parenting is sufficiently insightful that the book becomes compelling.

A poignant and relatable exploration of adjusting to motherhood.