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EVERYTHING THAT MAKES YOU

As an experiment, the premise may intrigue more than the product, but readers who enter it on its own terms should find it...

One girl, two lives: Debut novelist McStay explores the impact of a childhood accident.

When Fiona was 5, an accident burned her face and left her scarred. Always self-conscious about her scars, Fiona won't perform the songs she writes or tell crush Trent how she feels. At least she has her brother, Ryan, and best friend, Lucy. She undergoes an operation that heals her scars—but Fiona's insecurities remain even after starting college and falling for handsome Jackson. In a parallel storyline that alternates with Fiona’s chapter by chapter and month by month, Fi is physically unflawed, but there are cracks under the surface. She's a fierce lacrosse player, living for the dream of playing in college, even if it means barely having a relationship with her brother, Ryan, and pushing away Trent, her best friend, who wants to be more. But a horrible ankle injury takes away lacrosse, leaving Fi adrift until she falls in love with the sickly, optimistic Marcus. Readers accustomed to time-slip and parallel-universe fiction should control their expectations, as intersections between the storylines are fairly subtle. McStay plays out her “what if” scenario in two separate plots; as separate reads, Fiona's story is straightforward, while Fi's is more interesting yet less successfully executed.

As an experiment, the premise may intrigue more than the product, but readers who enter it on its own terms should find it satisfying. (Fiction. 14-18)

Pub Date: March 17, 2015

ISBN: 978-0-06-229548-4

Page Count: 352

Publisher: Katherine Tegen/HarperCollins

Review Posted Online: Dec. 21, 2014

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2015

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IF ONLY I HAD TOLD HER

A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind.

In this companion novel to 2013’s If He Had Been With Me, three characters tell their sides of the story.

Finn’s narrative starts three days before his death. He explores the progress of his unrequited love for best friend Autumn up until the day he finally expresses his feelings. Finn’s story ends with his tragic death, which leaves his close friends devastated, unmoored, and uncertain how to go on. Jack’s section follows, offering a heartbreaking look at what it’s like to live with grief. Jack works to overcome the anger he feels toward Sylvie, the girlfriend Finn was breaking up with when he died, and Autumn, the girl he was preparing to build his life around (but whom Jack believed wasn’t good enough for Finn). But when Jack sees how Autumn’s grief matches his own, it changes their understanding of one another. Autumn’s chapters trace her life without Finn as readers follow her struggles with mental health and balancing love and loss. Those who have read the earlier book will better connect with and feel for these characters, particularly since they’ll have a more well-rounded impression of Finn. The pain and anger is well written, and the novel highlights the most troublesome aspects of young adulthood: overconfidence sprinkled with heavy insecurities, fear-fueled decisions, bad communication, and brash judgments. Characters are cued white.

A heavy read about the harsh realities of tragedy and their effects on those left behind. (author’s note, content warning) (Fiction. 14-18)

Pub Date: Feb. 6, 2024

ISBN: 9781728276229

Page Count: 416

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Review Posted Online: Jan. 5, 2024

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2024

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IF HE HAD BEEN WITH ME

There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.

The finely drawn characters capture readers’ attention in this debut.

Autumn and Phineas, nicknamed Finny, were born a week apart; their mothers are still best friends. Growing up, Autumn and Finny were like peas in a pod despite their differences: Autumn is “quirky and odd,” while Finny is “sweet and shy and everyone like[s] him.” But in eighth grade, Autumn and Finny stop being friends due to an unexpected kiss. They drift apart and find new friends, but their friendship keeps asserting itself at parties, shared holiday gatherings and random encounters. In the summer after graduation, Autumn and Finny reconnect and are finally ready to be more than friends. But on August 8, everything changes, and Autumn has to rely on all her strength to move on. Autumn’s coming-of-age is sensitively chronicled, with a wide range of experiences and events shaping her character. Even secondary characters are well-rounded, with their own histories and motivations.

There’s not much plot here, but readers will relish the opportunity to climb inside Autumn’s head.   (Fiction. 14 & up)

Pub Date: April 1, 2013

ISBN: 978-1-4022-7782-5

Page Count: 336

Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire

Review Posted Online: Feb. 12, 2013

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2013

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