SHOPAHOLIC TIES THE KNOT

Third time’s the charm (Shopaholic Takes Manhattan, 2001, etc.).

Since her bank won’t keep a “little secret” and send separate his-’n-hers statements on a joint account, Becky will just have to make a clean breast of it (in a La Perla bra, of course) and admit her overspending to Luke Brandon, her live-in love. Lucky that he’s rolling in it, because her extremely cool job as a personal shopper at Barneys isn’t going to cover the bills. But two can live as expensively as one, if the one is named Becky Bloomwood. No matter what, Luke loves her. He just proposed! Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod—Becky finds out that brides-to-be are allowed, no, encouraged—to register at fancy stores for whatever they need or want, and well-meaning friends and family will actually buy the stuff for them. What a marvelous idea. Now, where to have the wedding . . . . Her mum is hoping she’ll hop the puddle and come home to tie the knot; she’s put up new wallpaper and planted a flowerbed that will spell out “Luke and Becky” in pansies next to the striped marquee in case it rains. And it will rain, Becky is sure. Luke’s social-climbing mother would prefer weatherproof, absolutely fabulous New York–style nuptials at the Plaza. Enter the wedding planner, who makes things even more complicated. Becky can’t say no to anything, as usual, and so she eventually arranges for two different weddings on the same day in two different continents. First to roll: the Plaza ceremony, featuring an enchanted make-believe birch forest and talking bouquet to cue the nervous bride. Don’t tell a soul it’s not a real wedding. Well, the free-flying turtledoves anointing the guests with white goo are certainly real, and the despotic wedding planner might even get paid, but there isn’t any ring and the so-called minister is mumbling dreadfully. Man and wife? Not until Becky and Luke get back to England at last.

Funny, funny, funny.