Books by Victoria Secunda

Released: June 5, 1992

Another useful, levelheaded examination of a complex relationship. Secunda (When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends, 1990, etc.) looks at father-daughter relationships, identifying them as templates for future attachments. The ``good-enough father,'' for example, offers dependability, involvement, and interest throughout his daughter's life, assuring her self-confidence and self- sufficiency. In contrast, the ``doting father's'' daughter lacks self-reliance, while the ``distant father''—by far the most prevalent—raises one who comes to expect little from any partner. Secunda supports the profiles of these types and others with relevant anecdotes and some significant research before looking more closely at the patterns of adult intimacy these daughters seek out: Competitive daughters, she observes, tend to find nurturing partners, while favored ones rarely establish satisfying connections. Secunda offers a three-part journey of discovery for daughters trying to improve relations with their fathers— remembering, healing, and reconnecting—but she's too savvy to suggest that all families can benefit from direct confrontation, especially those troubled by incest. The point of the process, Secunda maintains, is to get past the lingering fear and/or anger and to learn how to avoid finding men like these less-than-ideal fathers. Solid and evocative from the start, with considerable potential as a popular choice. Read full book review >