An anatomy of the exurbanite- he lives within the next 25 miles beyond the suburbanite but is still an urbanite at heart- applies a stethoscope to this special stratification of American life which is as much a point of view as a point on the map. So whether they live in Fairfield, Bucks or Rockland Counties, these displaced New Yorkers have many regional stigmata in common; they move in a world which is desirable, smart, exhaustingly convivial and competitive (you keep ahead of- not up with); they work in some communications medium- publishing, writing, commercial art, t.v. or advertising; they are not solvent on $25,000 a year; they commute via carpool and club car to Madison Avenue; and the women they leave behind, assauge their marital discontent in children, decor or the P.T.A. Mr. Spectorsky is privy to all the small, telltale indications of this syndrome, and his commentary is polished, lively- and deadly. For a definitely metropolitan market, that man in the grey flannel suit on the 8:12 or the 5:32.