Dorothy Samuel gives the back of her hand--the one with the gold band--to those feminists who claim that liberation and marriage are incompatible. Sex as recreation palls. . . and pair-bonding is characteristic of the species. She believes we all need those ""deep meaningful relationships"" no matter how banal they sound to the young who will find that swinglehood is less and less emotionally satisfying as they grow older. Samuel however is a feminist in her fashion and she gives short shrift to the subordinate ""helpmate"" wife. Her ""utterly triumphant"" married-for-life couples are committed to challenging and enlarging each other's world--nothing corrodes a marriage faster than boredom. You might feel that some of her prototypes of connubial blitz--Nathaniel Hawthorne and Sophia Peabody, Calvin Ellis Stowe and Harriet Beecher--are a trifle musty, but she presents some contemporary couples as well, including Sen. Philip A. Hart and his wife Jane Briggs who flies her own plane and sails her own boat and was once trained and tested as a potential female astronaut. A warmhearted, not softheaded, defense of marriage as a unique ""survival institution""--Samuel is hard to dislike no matter how many divorces you've celebrated lately.