This is the sometimes hilarious true story of customs inspector Al Scharff whose general area of operations was the Mexico-U.S. border and whose general mode of operations often left a great deal to be desired. The first part of Al's life is perhaps more amazing than the cases he solved as an inspector. A consumptive, Al went South to save his life and got mixed up with a nymphomaniac. To flee her exhausting caresses, he rushed into Mexico and soon found himself mixed in with a band of rebels and participating in some bloody guerrilla raids. Feeling that life might be all too brief in this band, he fled North where a Mexican sold him thousands of forged five-peso notes for a song. Al went around Mexico, peddling phony until he landed in a Mexican jail. The American consul got him out. Up North again, he went into partnership on a gold mine. Operating it was expensive and when the FBI hired him to go down into Mexico and blow up a German wireless station (it was WWI) he went. Following his success at killing the spies and dynamiting their radio tower, he was approached by a customs official who told him that it was known that he'd been running Mexican cattle into the States sub rosa and that if he wanted to be allowed to stay around and run his gold mine, he would also have to put his criminal talents to work for the customs bureau. He was sworn in and the rest was booze, wild women, smugglers, narcotics, rebels and a wondrously eventful life.