Bantam's latest bid for the yupscale trade-paper market, the next in their new line of fiction (see Hood, p. 665), is in fact mass-market schlock--a pretentious and sappy melodrama, with epigraphs from no less than Henry James and Joni Mitchell. Imagine Woody Allen's Manhattan without the wit, and told from the empty-headed young girl's point of view, and you'll come up with something much like this unintentionally risable romance. Michelle Marie Azzi, the self-described ""cute, young blond"" whose fictional memoir this is, finds herself a successful but unhappy soap-opera actress in L.A. (""Jesus Christ, Mickey, you're an actress--at some point you have to go to Los Angeles""). Aside from the fact that she's been living for four years with a man who says ""Rolls"" and ""Rolex"" instead of ""car"" and ""watch,"" Mickey, herself a convent-school girl from Pittsburgh, has yet to recover from her glorious one-year affair in New York City (""Nothing is so much New York as Central Park in the fall"") with an older man often mistaken for Dustin Hoffman and. . .Woody Allen, and whom she nicknames ""Coyote,"" after the Joni Mitchell song of that name. Her first sighting of said heart-throb: ""He was wearing a white Brooks Brothers button-down and tight Calvin Klein jeans (over Giancarlo Giannini hips), and no belt and a navy-blue blazer from Bloomingdale's. . ."" Apart from shopping well, Coyote--his real name is David Nathan Hellerman--represents a number of ""firsts"" for the nubile little Mickey: ""my first older man (he was thirty-eight; I was nineteen), my first professor; my first Ph.D., my first New Yorker, my first Jew, my first married man."" The fairy-tale plot seems mostly beside the point, since the often fulsome prose reads more like an ad for perfume ("". . .maybe Coyote isn't my one true love. Maybe he's just an obsession"") and safe sex (""Then came the day I suggested anal sex as a diverting titillation. . .""). For her debut, Vannucci will take Manhattan in this Krantzlike tale of puppy love for a lecherous wolf.