Etiquette"" is one of those strange words that means different things to different people, and though there are the requisite lists of foreign-menu-phrases decoded and terms of address for Presidents and rabbis, the bulk of this effort is actually in the how-to-succeed vein. The trouble is, the authors of Your Complete Wedding Planner (1977) and others of that ilk, have only the vaguest idea of how to proceed along these lines, and the result is often pure waffle: in handling subordinates, ""be friendly, but do not be a pal""; in defeating ""treacherous rivals,"" be sure to ""beat them at your own best game--good manners and fair play."" This is, in fact, the authors' answer to nearly every problem: graciousness, tact, common courtesy, and diplomacy superimposed on catchall success-book phrases like ""power base""--sometimes to comic effect. The book is long enough to contain some useful tips and insights, but they are so enmeshed in the dreary fabric that it would .take a patient executive indeed to sit and pick them out. Too much with too little to offer.