For when open marriage becomes a dosed book. Easing the transition from spouse to spouse no longer to independent person -- or how to turn the mourning period into a growth experience -- examined with I've-been-there solemnity by a California divorce counselor who's recently gotten one himself after 24 years of marriage. ""The answer. . . to loneliness is to continue. . . building self-esteem,"" ""honest expression of feelings is always healthier than the martyring techniques"" -- Norman Vincent Peale wouldn't have said it any differently. Marya Mannes and Norman Sheresky's Uncoupling (KR, 1972, p. 716), although with more emphasis on the legal machinations, offers sounder advice on how to separate without coming apart.