There's no such thing as the ""dream"" apartment and never enough closet space, but Rejnis has advice on beginning the tedious search from brokers, roommate agencies and checklists for viewing to ""key money"" (usually not always illegal) and the lease. If you've decided to buy, she clarifies the co-op or condominium distinction -- with a word on how to fight conversion if you're a happy and insolvent lessee. If the landlord turns out to be an s.o.b. (and whose isn't?), a tenant organization might be the answer -- there's advice here on rent strikes, newsletters, contacting the media, etc. For beating that other kind of thief, there's a section on security measures (including an LP that simulates a conjugal squabble) and property insurance. The last word on cockroaches, it turns out, isn't boric acid -- consider a tarantula, gecko lizard or Purple Pitcher Plant. The all-inclusive survival manual for the one-third of us who rent -- rights and responsibilities from in to out, help for all the pests, pitfalls and headaches that are as unavoidable as the first of every month.