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WHY WE CAN'T SLEEP by Ada Calhoun

WHY WE CAN'T SLEEP

Women's New Midlife Crisis

by Ada Calhoun

Pub Date: Jan. 7th, 2020
ISBN: 978-0-8021-4785-1
Publisher: Grove

Calhoun (Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give, 2017, etc.) argues that Generation X women find middle age harder than those older or younger.

The author is in her 40s and not enjoying this stage of life. In her latest, she offers a combination of her memories, recycled research, and interviews with “women who, by virtue of being middle class, grew up with reasonable expectations of opportunity and success.” Calhoun is far more successful when she focuses on the problems of being a middle-aged American woman than when she attempts to define the nebulous differences between baby boomers, Gen Xers, and millennials and to convince readers that Gen Xers are suffering in ways that those older and younger aren't and won't. She defines Gen Xers as those born between 1965 and 1980 (data supplied by the Pew Research Center). On the basis of scanty evidence, Calhoun identifies them as being latchkey kids and children of divorce and hampered by receiving “two primary messages” from their childhoods as the offspring of overly optimistic feminist mothers: “One: Reach for the stars. Two: You're on your own.” The author argues, for example, that Gen X kids were uniquely scarred by being witnesses to the Challenger spaceship disaster, neglecting to acknowledge that other generations—if generations can even be separated so neatly—had their own public traumas. Much of the book is devoted to demonstrating the suffering of “her” generation: “Gen X women undergo a bone-deep, almost hallucinatory panic about money,” she writes, blaming this alleged state of mind on the fact that “much of Gen X graduated into a weak job market.” Calhoun is on firmer ground when she discusses the stressors that affect middle-aged women in general: menopause and the physical changes that precede it, the challenges of dealing with older (and less appreciative) children and aging parents, and the fact that aging inevitably means that some life choices are no longer viable.

An occasionally amusing and insightful but scattershot exploration of midlife woes.