GO THE FUCK TO COLLEGE

Where did the effing time go?

Countless sleep-deprived parents around the world were grateful when, in 2011, Mansbach published a riproaringly profane parody of a children’s book to help kids fall asleep. A series of Go the Fuck to Sleep books followed. And why not? The novelist hit on a hilarious conceit—merging syrupy-sweet kid-lit prose with R-rated kickers—that kept on giving. As happens, children grow older. Yet don’t they still need some advice when heading off to college? Yes, those doorstopper guides on best colleges might help, but they’re not quite as funny as Mansbach’s latest book. It’s very short, like any bedtime story for wee ones, but it packs a lot of laughs—even if it’s tinged with unironic sadness. The first of a dozen panels reads: “I don’t know where the time went. / Just yesterday you were a pup. / Back then you wouldn’t go to sleep. / Now you won’t wake the fuck up.” The rhyming couplets grace a colorful, cartoony drawing by Brozman of a teenager asleep in bed, his mouth agape, dirty laundry scattered on the floor, and an alarm clock showing that it’s 11:02 a.m. Another illustration shows a father and son in a car; Dad, at the wheel, is happily going on about something or other while Junior is glumly staring at his iPhone. The text reads: “I realize, of course, that you haven’t / Asked me for any advice. / But I can’t let you fuck it up, / Especially not at this price.” The parental wisdom may be timeless, but the kids don’t necessarily want to hear it. In one panel, two tousle-haired and tattooed bros are trying to convince three girls to join them: “No pills, no powders. Do not black out. / These things are not good for your health. / And if anybody tells you different, / Tell that asshole to go fuck himself.” Ward Cleaver couldn’t have put it better.

Yet more laughs for overwhelmed parents—as they become empty nesters.