The bodyguard is a giant boob named Len Rossman, graduate of a bodyguard academy and former member of the ""Yellows,"" European Riot Police, in a British fascistic society and a not-too-distant future. Len simply wants to be the world's best bodyguard, and he stolidly climbs the ladder to that ideal in spite of some lusty female approaches to his ""person"" and a series of peculiar clients. In fact most of his ""targets"" have pancakes in the attic: the Joint Minister of Education is a happy nudist; a science administrator is suicidal; the officials of New Johannesburg keep a human zoo; and the Archbishop is accompanied in his churchly business by a chanting choir. But Len performs with dogged aplomb until he is tricked into a hideout of ""Rots"" (the dissidents) in a dump and becomes a perfect target himself. An envoi explains why all this is revealed in a hospital bed where the eye-bandaged bodyguard lies dreaming and telling all to the friendly interrogator. A fast-moving, bleakly funny satire.