THE CIVILIZED COUPLE'S GUIDE TO EXTRA-MARITAL ADVENTURE

Through the years we have come to think of Albert Ellis (whenever we've had to think of him at all) as the rather grotty hierophant of free sex even if it's only self-abuse. Now drawing on ""hundreds"" of ""intimate"" talks with those who have engaged in that ""virtually ubiquitous"" extra (why does he hyphenate it?) marital adventure, as well as his own experiences, he discusses the alternatives which might be just a ""once in a while"" adventure or a ""steady affair"" or the pluralistic pleasures featured in the Groupsex Tapes (Ellis quotes from all the popular literature). Adultery offers healthy motivations (confidence-building) but also disturbed ones (it can be anxiety-impelled). He provides ""ground rules"" but still when all is said and done, ""honest adultery-permitting arrangements work better in theory than fact"" while lying is ""unethical and unsatisfactory."" Take your choice. Ellis also discusses women's special problems--they're more prone to censure; they're apt to look for love and sex in one bag; but then they have more free time and opportunities, like at the supermarket or launderette... Ellis, and you see and hear him everywhere, has a wide audience and this is for those whose who need sanctioned access to that neighbor's wife who is pinker on the other side of the grass.