THE BEST OF ALL POSSIBLE PLANETS

Members of the last human settlement on Earth blast off on a quest to save the planet in Shvartsman’s SF novel.

Dhawan is just your average earthling living in post-apocalyptic times; he’s trying to enjoy the sunrise with the hottest girl in town when they both realize said sunrise has begun to go awry. Enter Airvolt, harebrained author of The Gathered Wisdom of the Human Species. (As seen in the accompanying black-and-white illustrations by Butova, Cvijanovic, and Liu, Airvolt is a dead ringer for Ben Franklin by way of Hobbiton.) Airvolt quickly realizes that the protective barrier shielding what’s left of the Earth is breaking down rapidly and is in need of immediate replacement. The search for that replacement constitutes the bulk of Shvartsman’s irreverently quirky space odyssey—it’s a narrative that can be affectionately described as interstellar idiocy. Clear nods to everything from Idiocracy to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy abound, and they’re all part of the breezy fun. The title, of course, references Voltaire’s classic Candide; somewhere between the fourth and fifth dimensions, Dr. Pangloss is winking at Airvolt and company. Media-literate readers already know that a MacGuffin is a time-honored storytelling device that authors use to spur their adventures into motion—Shvartsman explicitly dubs the protective device his intrepid earthlings are seeking the “MacGuffin mark XII force barrier.” If only they had enough credits to wrangle one from the space bazaar! Along the wacky way, Dhawan—accompanied by his vapid crush, Rada, and the aforementioned Airvolt—encounter more goofball aliens than George Lucas could pack into the Mos Eisley cantina on ladies’ night. “All of this had occurred a very long time ago,” readers learn. “Before the Mafia took over Mexico, and before New York came to be known as Old York.” If that puts a smile on your face, the crew of the Theseus(another literary joke) have plenty more where that came from. But in space, can anyone hear you scream with laughter?

All ahead warp factor 2 to lighthearted fun.