FOR REAL

Kopelman shares strategies to foster authenticity in this psychoeducational guide.

Authenticity, according to the author, is “the alignment between our inner selves and the personas we present to the world.” Kopelman frames it as an ongoing practice represented by the acronym WHOLE: being a witness, being honest, being open to growth, loving yourself, and expressing your inner truth. The book discusses the philosopher and psychologist William James’ concepts of “I-self” (the part that thinks, knows, and acts) and “Me-self” (knowledge and beliefs about the self), and how these concepts change across developmental stages. Kopelman contemplates the impact of social connections and community on the development and perception of the self, he addresses shame and social stigma as barriers to authenticity, and he emphasizes skill-building. The author also encourages empathic listening and undivided attention as essential tools for connecting with children. Kopelman recommends using the “Gates of Speech” (or asking “Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?”) before speaking. The author’s “Where I’m From” poems serve as conduits for understanding children’s life narratives, and engaging with kids’ big questions is also a big part of what he tackles. The book concludes with a reminder for adults to “commit to nurturing our children’s spiritual growth.” In this well-informed guide, Kopelman gently urges adults to examine their own understanding of (and alignment with) authenticity before they can meaningfully teach the concept to children. He illustrates the book’s concepts with concrete examples from his work as the co-founder of the Children’s Arts Guild, a child development nonprofit, such as using a “Raid the Kitchen” cooking project to spark creativity. Insightful and actionable exercises include a “celestial map of our inner universes,” in which elements of outer space serve as metaphors for parts of the self. However, some may struggle with the occasionally convoluted language (“It is our responsibility to halt the cycle of distorting socialization and validate the lived experiences of the children in our lives.”)

A thorough examination of authenticity that may be too technical for the average reader.