SEX TALKS WITH TWEENS

A series of sex-education scripts for children ages 9 to 12.

For her model of best practices when it comes to sex education, Lang looks to a part of the world with very few unwanted teen pregnancies—Scandinavia—where frank discussions of all things related to sex begin in kindergarten. “They have sex ed all the way through school so there is no not knowing,” she writes. “Everyone knows nearly all of the sex things, and it shows in their teen sexual-health outcomes.” This is the thinking behind her own book: The earlier and more thoroughly little children are educated about sex, the better off they’ll be. They’ll have a more positive sense of themselves as sexual beings, they’ll feel more prepared for dating, they’ll wait longer to become sexually active, they’ll have a clearer sense of the urgency of safe sex, and so on. In these pages, Lang covers everything from old familiar basics—the centrality of consent in all forms of physical contact; the whys and hows of trusting adults; specifics dealing with things like body hair, acne, and such—to some of the latest required discussions on the subject of sex, including introductions to terms like cisgender and the spectrum of sexualities. The coverage of queer identity is positive and thoughtful: “If you can, use your friends and family members as examples of different orientations. This will normalize being something other than straight and (assuming they are trustworthy) can give your kid someone to confide in if they are sorting out their sexual orientation.” Throughout, Lang uses an upbeat, encouraging tone clearly designed to allay parental fears and anxieties. The prose is clear and accessible, and the focus is always on the well-being of the children. Potentially divisive subjects—some parents won’t like the idea of talking to their 10-year-old about herpes or polyamory—are handled with sympathy and sensitivity.

An informed, affirming guide to talking about sexuality with children.