SUCH A PRETTY PICTURE

Leeb details her childhood of abuse and her journey to overcoming it and lead a full and successful life.

The author was born in 1958 to young Jewish parents. Her father was a New York City English teacher; her mother stayed home with Leeb and her sister. The memoir begins in 1962, with the day things changed for the author in her family’s Queens apartment: Leeb writes that her father began to sexually abuse her the first time she remembers him giving her a bath, when she was 4 years old. Her mother witnessed it and went temporarily blind from the shock—she subsequently refused to believe what she’d seen, trapping Leeb in a cycle that continued for the next decade, coupled with increasing physical and emotional abuse from both parents. Because of her father’s emotional volatility, the family moved around a lot in the author’s childhood, from Queens to Long Island to Florida and eventually back north to New Jersey. The repeated dislocations and isolation kept Leeb from telling anyone about the abuse; the few times she tried, she asserts that she was thwarted by her father, who convinced her that no one would believe her. Lacking acceptance and attention from her parents, Leeb recounts that she was targeted by other abusers due to her desire for attention, causing further trauma. The author affectingly describes the numerous times she attempted to seek help, only to be met with skepticism and shame. Leeb also notes the juxtaposition of the feelings of love and hate she felt toward her father; she writes that she simultaneously desired his approval and love while being harmed by his abuse. The author describes still relying on him, such as when he taught her to ride a bike: “No matter how fast I pedaled, my father stayed next to me, never more than a few inches away, always there to catch me if I fell.” Though the memoir is devastating, Leeb was able persevere through therapy and by connecting with others who love her—a positive conclusion to a largely distressing story.

A moving memoir of trauma with an uplifting conclusion.