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How to Date Your Spouse

by Andrea Syrtash

Pub Date: Sept. 1st, 2011
ISBN: 978-1-60961-109-5
Publisher: Rodale

Relationship expert, on-air personality and Huffington Post and regular Syrtash (He’s Just Not Your Type, 2010, etc.) dishes out wisdom to keep marriage alive for the long haul.

The author’s guide will resonate loudest with women who are currently attempting to balance marriage with their careers and children. Citing a study by biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, she describes how the brain’s chemical reactions during the first months of romantic love are similar in composition to the chemistry that leads to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Indeed, “the brain chemistry of addiction is also often displayed in the brains of people falling in love.” But that initial rush of dopamine doesn’t last, and then it’s time to get down to the work of maintaining a relationship. First, women are encouraged to put themselves front and center—it’s not only OK, the author writes, but necessary. Syrtash suggests a checklist of things to do for oneself each day. Infidelity may be tempting, she writes, but there are ways it can be avoided. Instead of acting on impulses, readers are urged to remove themselves from the situation and channel the dopamine rush of flirtation back into their marriage. Other strategies for spicing up a partnership including courting and kissing—also known as the Girlfriend Experience—as well as loving one’s body through a series of exercises that encourage vulva exploration. Familiarity may breed comfort, but it can also become dull. To counteract this effect, the author advises women to continue acting as if they are dating even though they are married. That means keeping the bathroom door closed to help maintain the initial air of mystery, ladies.

Time-tested advice to help rewire the brain for excitement.