HEALING

Đỗ shares a compilation of journal entries, therapy session notes, conversation snippets, and reflections on his mental health treatment.

In 2022, the author bought life insurance for the first time at age 42. He was suicidal, he says, but because his policy would not pay out if he died within the first two years, he decided to hang on. After separating from his wife the following January, Đỗ says that he “wanted to sink so badly.” Determined to survive for his children, he immersed himself in 400 hours of therapy over 10 weeks. Through letter writing, Đỗ processed his relationship with his parents, which he says was marked by a lack of physical affection and messages such as “Stop crying and be a man.” A virtual men’s support group introduced the author to the concept of “Ho’oponopono,” an ancient Hawaiian practice of forgiveness consisting of four lines: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” As Đỗ confided in friends and work colleagues about his struggles, he was met with compassion. Within weeks, he says, a palpable shift occurred: He began playing piano and guitar again and wrote a screenplay about his parents, and wonderful became his new favorite word. A stranger even described him as a “sunny person.” Ultimately, he says, he came to recognize that his life was beautiful, and that he was solely responsible for his happiness. Đỗ’s earnest narrative effectively addresses mental health struggles and works to destigmatize psychological treatment. However, although the journal format allows readers to track the author’s progression, his rapid recovery doesn’t reflect many people’s treatment journeys. Trauma survivors may also find some ideas problematic, such as Đỗ’s therapist’s insistence that “we all choose our parents.” Still, the author does share some insightful revelations, such as “Attitude is not the source. It’s the symptom,” and inspirational statements such as “My life is too short to let the pain lead.” Đỗ’s stance that a man is “stronger because he is emotionally vulnerable” is also a valuable message in a culture that struggles with toxic masculinity.

An emotionally honest memoir with some useful takeaways.