SO MUCH I WANT TO TELL YOU

A collection of advice and life lessons for a dearly departed sibling.

The author’s younger sister, Kristina, committed suicide in 2007. Since then, YouTube comedian Akana has tried to make sense of her death and make her own life mean more by working hard to fulfill her dreams. "Kristina is the driving force behind everything I do. This book isn’t just inspired by her, it’s for her….This book is filled with the advice I would give her if she was still here,” writes the author, “the advice I want to reach out and give to young, lost, teen girls before it's too late." The easily digestible pieces are geared toward younger readers, but some older readers may benefit from the lessons regarding love, career, friendship, and other topics. Akana discusses the turmoil she went through immediately after her sister's death and how she began creating comedy videos, which eventually wound up on YouTube, where she became a huge success. She believed in her ability to create and hasn't stopped, regardless of the racial discrimination (she is Asian) she has encountered while trying to launch an acting career. Broken into four major areas—creativity; identity; money, work, and career; and relationships—much of what this self-made woman discusses is geared toward the entertainment/acting/social media venues with which she is familiar, but there are applications for any entrepreneur launching out into unknown territory. You have to belief in yourself, be the boss, "do what you need to do to get shit done." Akana is honest about her screw-ups at work, her eating disorder, and her poor choices in relationships. Refreshingly, the essays are not snarky, sarcastic, or filled with awkward attempts at humor; they read like conversations with someone who has experienced much and is willing to share her defeats and successes so others may avoid some of the pitfalls.

Frank advice on how to live a productive, happy life despite certain odds, written in tribute to a “fearless, talented, and bold” sister.