A profoundly practical guide that aims to help widows and widowers cope with the many facets of grief.
Anyone who’s lost a life partner knows intimately well that one doesn’t simply feel sad. Surviving spouses feel an immense longing for lost loved ones, accompanied by a swirl of emotions that can keep them off-kilter for long periods. When it comes to stressful events, losing a spouse can be worse than imprisonment, according to a chart provided in this book, and many survivors wonder if there will ever be joy in their lives again. Ingolfs and Eydal understand this experience, and they gently wade into the process of dealing with the sorrow that loss leaves behind. They provide invaluable insights and real tools to help readers get free of pain’s grip. As they explore the heartache of losing a spouse, they uncover fear, anguish, hopelessness, depression and despair. They also delve into the guilt, anger, frustration, recrimination and doubt that can come with loss. They note that healing is elusive, in part, because conflicting emotions constantly bump up against each other in everyday life, and they point out that loss creates very practical challenges and dilemmas. For example, routine events, such as holidays and vacations, suddenly take on dramatic, ominous meaning: “When your husband/wife is gone, you can no longer plan for the future together, or share in anything that goes on in life.” The authors also look at the special problems of parenting devastated children. Short but illustrative case studies, in addition to the authors’ own life experiences, help flesh out important points and balance emotion with intellect. Losing a spouse is terrible to contemplate, but in doing so, Ingolfs and Eydal have found a way to help empower others.
A tender self-help book that could be a blessing for some readers during dark days.
Privately published by Strunk of Cornell in 1918 and revised by his student E. B. White in 1959, that "little book" is back again with more White updatings.
Stricter than, say, Bergen Evans or W3 ("disinterested" means impartial — period), Strunk is in the last analysis (whoops — "A bankrupt expression") a unique guide (which means "without like or equal").
Noted jazz and pop record producer Thiele offers a chatty autobiography. Aided by record-business colleague Golden, Thiele traces his career from his start as a ``pubescent, novice jazz record producer'' in the 1940s through the '50s, when he headed Coral, Dot, and Roulette Records, and the '60s, when he worked for ABC and ran the famous Impulse! jazz label. At Coral, Thiele championed the work of ``hillbilly'' singer Buddy Holly, although the only sessions he produced with Holly were marred by saccharine strings. The producer specialized in more mainstream popsters like the irrepressibly perky Teresa Brewer (who later became his fourth wife) and the bubble-machine muzak-meister Lawrence Welk. At Dot, Thiele was instrumental in recording Jack Kerouac's famous beat- generation ramblings to jazz accompaniment (recordings that Dot's president found ``pornographic''), while also overseeing a steady stream of pop hits. He then moved to the Mafia-controlled Roulette label, where he observed the ``silk-suited, pinky-ringed'' entourage who frequented the label's offices. Incredibly, however, Thiele remembers the famously hard-nosed Morris Levy, who ran the label and was eventually convicted of extortion, as ``one of the kindest, most warm-hearted, and classiest music men I have ever known.'' At ABC/Impulse!, Thiele oversaw the classic recordings of John Coltrane, although he is the first to admit that Coltrane essentially produced his own sessions. Like many producers of the day, Thiele participated in the ownership of publishing rights to some of the songs he recorded; he makes no apology for this practice, which he calls ``entirely appropriate and without any ethical conflicts.'' A pleasant, if not exactly riveting, memoir that will be of most interest to those with a thirst for cocktail-hour stories of the record biz. (25 halftones, not seen)