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LOSING A SPOUSE

ON LOVE, GRIEF AND RECOVERY

A tender self-help book that could be a blessing for some readers during dark days.

A profoundly practical guide that aims to help widows and widowers cope with the many facets of grief.

Anyone who’s lost a life partner knows intimately well that one doesn’t simply feel sad. Surviving spouses feel an immense longing for lost loved ones, accompanied by a swirl of emotions that can keep them off-kilter for long periods. When it comes to stressful events, losing a spouse can be worse than imprisonment, according to a chart provided in this book, and many survivors wonder if there will ever be joy in their lives again. Ingolfs and Eydal understand this experience, and they gently wade into the process of dealing with the sorrow that loss leaves behind. They provide invaluable insights and real tools to help readers get free of pain’s grip. As they explore the heartache of losing a spouse, they uncover fear, anguish, hopelessness, depression and despair. They also delve into the guilt, anger, frustration, recrimination and doubt that can come with loss. They note that healing is elusive, in part, because conflicting emotions constantly bump up against each other in everyday life, and they point out that loss creates very practical challenges and dilemmas. For example, routine events, such as holidays and vacations, suddenly take on dramatic, ominous meaning: “When your husband/wife is gone, you can no longer plan for the future together, or share in anything that goes on in life.” The authors also look at the special problems of parenting devastated children. Short but illustrative case studies, in addition to the authors’ own life experiences, help flesh out important points and balance emotion with intellect. Losing a spouse is terrible to contemplate, but in doing so, Ingolfs and Eydal have found a way to help empower others.

A tender self-help book that could be a blessing for some readers during dark days.

Pub Date: June 1, 2014

ISBN: 978-9935918505

Page Count: 252

Publisher: Real Books

Review Posted Online: Sept. 13, 2014

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IN MY PLACE

From the national correspondent for PBS's MacNeil-Lehrer Newshour: a moving memoir of her youth in the Deep South and her role in desegregating the Univ. of Georgia. The eldest daughter of an army chaplain, Hunter-Gault was born in what she calls the ``first of many places that I would call `my place' ''—the small village of Due West, tucked away in a remote little corner of South Carolina. While her father served in Korea, Hunter-Gault and her mother moved first to Covington, Georgia, and then to Atlanta. In ``L.A.'' (lovely Atlanta), surrounded by her loving family and a close-knit black community, the author enjoyed a happy childhood participating in activities at church and at school, where her intellectual and leadership abilities soon were noticed by both faculty and peers. In high school, Hunter-Gault found herself studying the ``comic-strip character Brenda Starr as I might have studied a journalism textbook, had there been one.'' Determined to be a journalist, she applied to several colleges—all outside of Georgia, for ``to discourage the possibility that a black student would even think of applying to one of those white schools, the state provided money for black students'' to study out of state. Accepted at Michigan's Wayne State, the author was encouraged by local civil-rights leaders to apply, along with another classmate, to the Univ. of Georgia as well. Her application became a test of changing racial attitudes, as well as of the growing strength of the civil-rights movement in the South, and Gault became a national figure as she braved an onslaught of hostilities and harassment to become the first black woman to attend the university. A remarkably generous, fair-minded account of overcoming some of the biggest, and most intractable, obstacles ever deployed by southern racists. (Photographs—not seen.)

Pub Date: Nov. 1, 1992

ISBN: 0-374-17563-2

Page Count: 192

Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 1992

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A LITTLE HISTORY OF POETRY

Necessarily swift and adumbrative as well as inclusive, focused, and graceful.

A light-speed tour of (mostly) Western poetry, from the 4,000-year-old Gilgamesh to the work of Australian poet Les Murray, who died in 2019.

In the latest entry in the publisher’s Little Histories series, Carey, an emeritus professor at Oxford whose books include What Good Are the Arts? and The Unexpected Professor: An Oxford Life in Books, offers a quick definition of poetry—“relates to language as music relates to noise. It is language made special”—before diving in to poetry’s vast history. In most chapters, the author deals with only a few writers, but as the narrative progresses, he finds himself forced to deal with far more than a handful. In his chapter on 20th-century political poets, for example, he talks about 14 writers in seven pages. Carey displays a determination to inform us about who the best poets were—and what their best poems were. The word “greatest” appears continually; Chaucer was “the greatest medieval English poet,” and Langston Hughes was “the greatest male poet” of the Harlem Renaissance. For readers who need a refresher—or suggestions for the nightstand—Carey provides the best-known names and the most celebrated poems, including Paradise Lost (about which the author has written extensively), “Kubla Khan,” “Ozymandias,” “The Charge of the Light Brigade,” Wordsworth and Coleridge’s Lyrical Ballads, which “changed the course of English poetry.” Carey explains some poetic technique (Hopkins’ “sprung rhythm”) and pauses occasionally to provide autobiographical tidbits—e.g., John Masefield, who wrote the famous “Sea Fever,” “hated the sea.” We learn, as well, about the sexuality of some poets (Auden was bisexual), and, especially later on, Carey discusses the demons that drove some of them, Robert Lowell and Sylvia Plath among them. Refreshingly, he includes many women in the volume—all the way back to Sappho—and has especially kind words for Marianne Moore and Elizabeth Bishop, who share a chapter.

Necessarily swift and adumbrative as well as inclusive, focused, and graceful.

Pub Date: April 21, 2020

ISBN: 978-0-300-23222-6

Page Count: 304

Publisher: Yale Univ.

Review Posted Online: Feb. 8, 2020

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2020

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