THE TEACHER INSIDE ME

Auswat’s queer romance novel centers on a high school senior’s crush on his teacher and its potentially destructive consequences.

In the (fictional) city of Point Liberty, 18-year-old Liam is nearing graduation and struggling with a serious crush on Mr. Hilton, his 30-something English teacher who’s married to a woman. The novel opens with a line that shows Liam’s intense, nearly obsessive infatuation: “I can’t believe he’s wearing that cologne again. Today of all days. A test day.” The developing dynamic between student and teacher is slow and deliberate—from a perplexing run-in at a school urinal to a tutoring session at Mr. Hilton’s that ends with Liam secretly watching his instructor in the shower. The novel slow-burns toward a physical encounter—and doesn’t stop there. As the power dynamic between the pair changes, complicated by outside pressure from Hilton’s wife, Dixie, the dangerous, uncertain ramifications of the affair become clearer: Which one of them will ultimately be destroyed by the relationship? The first-person narration is one of the book’s greatest strengths, with Liam’s voice dually capturing teenage angst and a credible coming-of-age consciousness. The student’s friendship with Lucy, his only friend, provides occasional grounding while also serving as a reminder that a sense of isolation dominates the atmosphere. After all, Liam’s feeling of alienation is what compounds his obsession and leaves him vulnerable; most of his fellow students apparently want nothing to do with a kid who has alcoholic parents and a sister with Down syndrome. Antigay slurs, ableist remarks, and other forms of abuse from other characters circulate through the prose, often without response. This situation adds a psychological dimension to Liam’s attraction to someone who seems to be a safe adult to lean on. Certain lines land strangely, though (“You look like you were in the Holocaust”), and a plot thread involving nonconsensual photography emerges that some may find triggering.

An often unsettling story, but one that genre fans may find compelling.