I AM NOT A CROOK

Buchwald's eighteenth book has absolutely his most apt title of all. Those who are not crooks include members of the White House staff, from Nice Guy on down, spying on members of the White House staff who spy on secret papers and files all over the country and especially in Washington and on Nice Guy's own adviser on foreign affairs (Henry Kay, a secret swinger), while Nice Guy himself spies on his own brother while trying to raise fifteen million dollars for reelection and accepting contributions in both hands behind his back though neither hand knoweth what the other is doing and in fact keeps no records because the money's been laundered in Mexico anyway while Nice Guy was off accepting house-repair money from friendly yachtsmen, aircraft billionaires, milk companies, all of which requires private use of IRS tax investigators against the enemy, many, many bugs, a whole load of dirty tricks, some Cubans-against-Castro, former CIA and FBI agents on the secret payroll who soon require unusual sums because their altruistic desire to keep Nice Guy from being beaten by the opposition has landed them heavily in jail for forgery and burglary, but the Justice Department and Attorney General are on Nice Guy's side though highest aides have to be canned when -- well, it all could/did happen here but Buchwald's collection of columns gives it the sparkle of high farce. Would that it were.