WHEN PARENTS LOVE TOO MUCH: What Happens When Parents Won't Let Go

Here's something new: How parents can trash their lives and their children's lives by caring too much. What are the symptoms of overadulation? Ashner (an educator of learning-disabled teen-agers) and Meyerson (a psychotherapist) provide a lengthy list that thoughtful readers will apply immediately to themselves, as with symptoms of a trendy disease. Among the signs of growing up with overinvolved parents are: trouble making decisions; fear of success; a tendency to be self-critical while at the same time feeling ""entitled""--which, except for the last, seem similar to the signs of growing up with noncaring parents. Among the causes: too much love and not enough understanding, too much praise, too much hand-holding. It all adds up to a person who used to be called simply ""spoiled."" The book follows a formula typical of this self-help genre. There are catchy chapter headings, case histories with the subjects cozily identified as ""Ron"" or ""Kris"" or ""Nancy,"" and a first-person point-of-view--in this case, a diffuse ""we."" Overprotection and overindulgence (not the same as ""love"") do put roadblocks on the road to maturity, however, and the authors red-flag some obstacles and suggest remedies. Breaks no new ground, but of interest to adults who seem to have had silver-spoon childhoods and still feel deprived.