UNIQUELY HUMAN

A parents’ guide to helping children thrive in an increasingly digital world.

“As parents in today’s ever-expanding digital AI world, we can no longer take the advice of our parents or even recycle the things that we learned as kids,” writes occupational therapist and child development expert Schmalle, the single parent of a Gen Z daughter, in her nonfiction debut. Thanks to the universal prevalence of screens (along with the lingering social disjunction of the Covid-19 pandemic), kids are growing up “distracted, dysregulated, and disorganized,” all of which is amplified and complicated by the growing ubiquity of AI, per the author. In response, Schmalle argues that we should find new habits and develop new routines to teach children how to navigate the dizzying terrain of the new digital and AI world. She organizes her proactive approach into “Five Pillars”: “Save Yourself First” (the best way to help your children develop healthy social skills is to “cultivate them in your own life first”), “Connect and Collaborate” (“Increase face-to-face interactions, limit tech disruptions”), “Move With a Purpose” (balance screen time, sleep, and exercise), “Learn and Grow Sensationally” (“opt for multisensory learning tools over digital solutions”), and, finally, “Build Digital Awareness and Safety” (teach digital literacy). She makes sure to include considerations for neurodivergent children, and each chapter offers assignments or suggestions for filling out exercises in the Family Playbook, a free resource that can be downloaded online, along with generous endnotes.

All of this material is clearly and forcefully presented with a great deal of hard-edged clarity that is a welcome change when discussing a subject that often tempts writers toward treacle. Schmalle is direct about the dangers of this new “Wild West,” noting that normal societal rules don’t apply. “It’s a breeding ground for predators who would take advantage of the most vulnerable in our society—children and the elderly,” she warns. “Parents are often the biggest violators of their children’s privacy without even realizing it,” she asserts, noting that “mommy bloggers” and the like show the world every moment of their kids’ lives without their permission, transmitting the message to their children that they need not respect the privacy of others. In erudite and sympathetic prose, the author helps readers parse the complexities of an online world where, as she grimly points out, no amount of parental controls will let parents see inside every Snapchat or Discord post their kids are going to encounter. Schmalle observes that there are growing parenting trends of keeping kids away from social media until age 16 and forbidding preteens from owning cellphones, but the book is empowering rather than prescriptive; the author deftly interweaves her own personal experiences throughout the broader framework of the Family Playbook she’s devised, but her book’s strongest element is its tough-love optimism. Schmalle is unflinchingly clear about the dangers of this new world, but, as she writes from her own experience, “being overwhelmed is just a feeling.” Parents feeling intimidated by the immensity of the online world they know their kids encounter will be both informed and encouraged by the insights the author shares here.

A wise and comprehensive game plan for helping kids—and their parents—navigate the internet.