KEEPING THE SPARK ALIVE: Preventing Burnout in Love and Marriage by Ayala M. Pines

KEEPING THE SPARK ALIVE: Preventing Burnout in Love and Marriage

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Fans of Dr. Ruth's cheeleading approach to sex will be turned off by this notably nonsizzling dissertation on the failure of romantic love as a basis for marriage or stable sexual relationships. Before getting down to the nitty-gritty promised in her title, Pines (Burnout: From Tedium to Personal Growth, 1981) devotes two-thirds of this volume to the history of romantic love and the reasons for its current prevalence as an incentive for matrimony and a major cause of marital ""burnout."" She also discusses how day-to-day stresses explode the unrealistic expectations of those who anticipate perpetual bliss in marriage; the similarities between career burnout and its marital counterpart; and the difference between the various schools of marital therapy. She liberally embellishes her material with quotations from others, and also includes case histories from her patient roster and the results of various studies she has conducted: one indicated a zero correlation between burnout and the length of a marriage. Not surprisingly, Pines discovers that fulfillment in marriage comes to those who praise, encourage, and communicate with their partners, and who also enjoy a varied sexual relationship. She includes a ten-point program through which couples may reshape their relationship, or decide that it's time to call it quits. A sharp--if verbose and often fudgily worded--analysis of the male-female relationship and its discontents.

Pub Date: May 25th, 1988
Publisher: St. Martin's