A disturbing, often compelling first novel about a feisty young woman who’s had more than her share of abuse, cruelty, and loss but fights her way back to sanity.
Narrator Clarisse Broder, 31, is married to a rich, boring Wall Street guy with a fetish for dogs (his alarm clock doesn’t buzz, it barks). They met in a hospital, where Clarisse was supposedly recovering from an emergency appendectomy, and married a week later. As a result, there’s a lot he doesn’t know, and, despite Clarisse’s clever banter and wry sense of humor, it’s obvious that she’s haunted by sinister memories. The truth is that Beth, as she was once known, ran away from home at 16 and was taken in by a sadistic pimp named Ben, who tortured her physically and psychologically until she became a willing member of the stable of boys and girls he directed in S/M performances for the benefit of wealthy clients. The renamed Clarisse finds that a dull suburban existence isn’t enough to make her feel safe or happy, and there’s a nagging secret lurking just below her conscious recall. When the book of stories her husband encourages her to write develops a cult following, she worries that her past will be exposed. Desperate for relief, she decides to kill herself, but instead begins thinking about “a different type of suicide, the kind where you end up free, in a new life that you yourself decide.” To this end, she calls on Ben for help—a mistake that eventually prompts her to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge in an attempt to escape him. This proves to be the first step in a harrowing flight across the country, until Beth/Clarisse winds up in the arms of a woman whose love enables her to recover her memory and her life.
Newcomer Bell creates an engaging and sympathetic character while skillfully exploring the nature of obsession and human need: a graphically violent but impressive debut.