WHAT THE DEAD KNOW

A sober, queer woman describes how becoming a New York City medicolegal examiner changed her life.

In the early 1990s, after a particularly devastating drunken night, Butcher decided to get sober. “Once I start something,” she writes, “I have to be good at it, so I threw myself heartfirst into AA.” To the author, this meant breaking up with her girlfriend, finding “a gay women’s meeting” where she celebrated 90 days without a drink, and attending a vocational training service that ultimately led her to the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner in Manhattan, where she was unexpectedly hired on the spot. What followed was a decadeslong career that included a wide variety of cases, including accidental deaths, gruesome murders perpetrated by serial killers, identifying the remains of bodies uncovered in the aftermath of 9/11, and suicides. “Some of the angriest suicides I saw took place at the Marriott Marquis hotel in Midtown Manhattan,” she writes. “Like the Golden Gate Bridge in the past or the Vessel in Hudson Yards today, it was a popular place to jump to your death.” Although Butcher loved her job, her constant exposure to humanity’s worst cruelties exacted an emotional toll that led to a post-retirement depression severe enough to require hospitalization and electroshock therapy. The author is a witty, gifted observer who approaches her own struggles with mental health with the same keenness and curiosity as she approaches the bodies she encounters on the job. However, while she never shies away from the gruesome details of corpses and crime scenes, she is less than forthcoming about her personal life, providing only brief glimpses into a history of “depression and suicidal tendencies” that began in her teens. This gap is noteworthy mostly because Butcher’s forays into memoir are heartbreakingly beautiful; their brevity leaves readers wanting more.

A gritty, humorous portrait of a strong woman who found sobriety while working with the dead.