SECRETS ABOUT MEN EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW

Here, De Angelis (psychotherapist, seminar leader, author of How to Make Love All the Time, 1987) offers smart insights--all packaged in bland, bite-sized nuggets--on every conceivable aspect of how to get him/how to keep him. Focus on your own life and what interests you, she advises, rather than on remaking yourself to suit a man (""men are turned on by competence and turned off by weakness""). De Angelis decodes male behavior, looking at such issues as why men hate to be wrong and how to deal with this; why men hate to see women upset (men are results-oriented, so ""when you are feeling upset, tell your man exactly what you want from him""). Many men define themselves as a result of professional accomplishments rather than relationships, and if a man's work is not going well, he'll have a hard time with love and intimacy. The distinction between ""having sex"" and ""making love"" is spelled out; DeAngelis suggests that women try both. She also discusses lots of sexual specifics--men's feelings about oral sex, why some men seem remote after orgasm, what turns a man off (this ranges from women who are ""excessively needy and clingy"" to those who wear ugly underwear). Despite its irritating easy-read format (there's much reliance on lists, quizzes, charts, little in the way of anecdotes or narrative), De Angelis packs in solid insights. Useful relationship advice, then, but less gracefully packaged than Berkowitz's rival What Men Won't Tell You But Women Need to Know, reviewed above.