Pitfall avoidance techniques from the author of The Secret Strength of Depression (there wasn't one, it seemed to us), in this case on the subject of remarriage. ""Children growing up imitate the attitudes and behaviors of their parents,"" says the author. We continue to do so--albeit unconsciously--when we pick our mates, because ""people who make the same mistake twice, or even more often, are usually still under the influence of an unconscious theme."" To prevent the unconscious from taking over to your life's detriment, suggests comparing your former spouse's family pattern and that of the person you are now planning to marry, as well as that of your own. He provides a chart (listing such things as dominant father, dominant mother, thwarting, bickering, generosity, etc.) meant to help you determine the salient patterns that might have formed once and be repeating the second time around. Sound in principle, tough to practice.