This is the season for books dealing with the problems of the elderly and their ""middle-aged children,"" now faced with responsibility for their parents' well-being. Both this one and the Otten-Shelley manual (see above) offer specifics on available help from outside sources--ranging from government and private agencies to community services--and take the healthy view that there is no perfect solution. However, Silverstone and Hyman march directly into emotional storm centers too. By using model situations and confrontations, they pinpoint the guilts of an adult forced to alter the life style of a physically or mentally deteriorating parent. What if, for example, you can never really ""like"" your parent, cannot accept a changed role, or resent the elder's insistence on ""retaining command?"" They discuss sibling hostility in matters of money or ""taking charge""; attitudes of the caretaker's spouse and children; and those ""Games That Old People Play."" They review the ""losses"" of old age--health, financial and social standing--and how to handle parents who need help but will not accept it. An outstanding feature is the nursing home section. Silverstone is Chief of Social Services at a Manhattan home and, though she is staff-oriented, her advice on procedures is soundly informative. A more intense, immediate, emotionally supportive book than Otten-Shelley but both are worthwhile and responsible. For a total perspective, keep in mind Alex Comfort's militant volley (see above) on behalf of the Aged P's.