Haphazardly organized, dully when not downright clumsily written, and never rising above the most basic level of common sense, this collection of advice for mature aspiring brides will exasperate any woman to whom the ""smart"" in the subtitle actually applies. That there is a shortage of men to marry older women is by now well established. No sense moaning about it, though. First, remember the helpful general principle: ""Men don't marry turtles. Women don't marry antelopes. They marry each other."" Now for the specifics: shore up your self-esteem so that you don't emanate repellent need. Broaden your ideas of what sort of man is acceptable to you (younger men, blue-collar types, men who wear clothing not to your taste). Use the personals, dating services, matchmakers (even though from the evidence here these methods are highly unreliable and can be costly). Take the initiative with men: if one of them is unresponsive, he's obviously into macho power games or not able to deal with a successful, strong woman. Even the experts quoted sound obtuse: of the likelihood of winning over a ""mama's boy,"" a Dr. Shaffer says, ""Some of it is also luck--he has to meet the right woman who is either different--or similar--to his mother."" Unrevealing and sometimes downright eccentric case histories pad out this overgrown women's-magazine article.