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X-PLAN PARENTING

BECOME YOUR CHILD’S ALLY—A GUIDE TO RAISING STRONG KIDS IN A CHALLENGING WORLD

A valuable, devoutly Christian, and empathy-based concept of parenting in the digital era.

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The founder of a Christian nonprofit offers an innovative plan for circumventing the typical problems in parent-child communication.

Fulks draws on his nearly 30 years of experience working with kids in order to deploy a new vision of parenting. His plan was originally based on a simple concept: If children find themselves in a situation that gives them some concern, they can text the single letter X to a designated family member. That relative then follows an agreed-upon script of telling the kids that they’re needed back at home immediately. The children get a no-strings-attached escape plan for any sketchy situation, with the agreement that they can say as much or as little about the incident later as they want. The author views this strategy as the basis of a parenting view that navigates between overcontrolling and undercontrolling kids. “Ultimately,” he writes, “our kids need to know we’re in this together.” Featuring a clear design and engaging prose, with plenty of rich autobiographical details, the book elaborates on this idea of parenting. Unlike the simple stratagem, the guide puts a great deal of emphasis on the author’s Christian faith. “Understanding Jesus’s perilous mission for your own heart,” he writes, “is crucial to what kind of parent you will become.” Fulks is appealing and straightforward when discussing his version of the Christian promise as opposed to mere church attendance: “Jesus heals the broken. Religious posturing just does further damage.” But much of the parenting advice in these pages will be helpful to readers of any denomination. The author stresses that parents must live their lives right alongside their children. “If you’re not living some kind of adventure and inviting your kids up into that world of play,” he writes, “they will go off seeking it in other places.”

A valuable, devoutly Christian, and empathy-based concept of parenting in the digital era.

Pub Date: June 11, 2019

ISBN: 978-1-982112-01-1

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Howard Books/Simon & Schuster

Review Posted Online: March 5, 2020

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CALL ME ANNE

A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.

The late actor offers a gentle guide for living with more purpose, love, and joy.

Mixing poetry, prescriptive challenges, and elements of memoir, Heche (1969-2022) delivers a narrative that is more encouraging workbook than life story. The author wants to share what she has discovered over the course of a life filled with abuse, advocacy, and uncanny turning points. Her greatest discovery? Love. “Open yourself up to love and transform kindness from a feeling you extend to those around you to actions that you perform for them,” she writes. “Only by caring can we open ourselves up to the universe, and only by opening up to the universe can we fully experience all the wonders that it holds, the greatest of which is love.” Throughout the occasionally overwrought text, Heche is heavy on the concept of care. She wants us to experience joy as she does, and she provides a road map for how to get there. Instead of slinking away from Hollywood and the ridicule that she endured there, Heche found the good and hung on, with Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford starring as particularly shining knights in her story. Some readers may dismiss this material as vapid Hollywood stuff, but Heche’s perspective is an empathetic blend of Buddhism (minimize suffering), dialectical behavioral therapy (tolerating distress), Christianity (do unto others), and pre-Socratic philosophy (sufficient reason). “You’re not out to change the whole world, but to increase the levels of love and kindness in the world, drop by drop,” she writes. “Over time, these actions wear away the coldness, hate, and indifference around us as surely as water slowly wearing away stone.” Readers grieving her loss will take solace knowing that she lived her love-filled life on her own terms. Heche’s business and podcast partner, Heather Duffy, writes the epilogue, closing the book on a life well lived.

A sweet final word from an actor who leaves a legacy of compassion and kindness.

Pub Date: Jan. 24, 2023

ISBN: 9781627783316

Page Count: 176

Publisher: Viva Editions

Review Posted Online: Feb. 6, 2023

Kirkus Reviews Issue: March 1, 2023

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BRAVE ENOUGH

These platitudes need perspective; better to buy the books they came from.

A lightweight collection of self-help snippets from the bestselling author.

What makes a quote a quote? Does it have to be quoted by someone other than the original author? Apparently not, if we take Strayed’s collection of truisms as an example. The well-known memoirist (Wild), novelist (Torch), and radio-show host (“Dear Sugar”) pulls lines from her previous pages and delivers them one at a time in this small, gift-sized book. No excerpt exceeds one page in length, and some are only one line long. Strayed doesn’t reference the books she’s drawing from, so the quotes stand without context and are strung together without apparent attention to structure or narrative flow. Thus, we move back and forth from first-person tales from the Pacific Crest Trail to conversational tidbits to meditations on grief. Some are astoundingly simple, such as Strayed’s declaration that “Love is the feeling we have for those we care deeply about and hold in high regard.” Others call on the author’s unique observations—people who regret what they haven’t done, she writes, end up “mingy, addled, shrink-wrapped versions” of themselves—and offer a reward for wading through obvious advice like “Trust your gut.” Other quotes sound familiar—not necessarily because you’ve read Strayed’s other work, but likely due to the influence of other authors on her writing. When she writes about blooming into your own authenticity, for instance, one is immediately reminded of Anaïs Nin: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Strayed’s true blossoming happens in her longer works; while this collection might brighten someone’s day—and is sure to sell plenty of copies during the holidays—it’s no substitute for the real thing.

These platitudes need perspective; better to buy the books they came from.

Pub Date: Nov. 1, 2015

ISBN: 978-1-101-946909

Page Count: 160

Publisher: Knopf

Review Posted Online: Aug. 15, 2015

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Sept. 1, 2015

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