MY POLICEMAN
by Bethan Roberts
A woman looks back on her life with her husband and his gay lover.
Inspired by the love life of novelist E.M. Forster, Roberts’ new book captures an unconventional—and illegal—love triangle in 1950s England. Opening in October 1999, retired schoolteacher Marion is writing a “confession of sorts” to Patrick, her husband’s lover, for whom she is caring after a near-fatal stroke: “When I am finished, I plan to read this account to you, Patrick, because you can’t answer back any more.” From there, Marion’s letter travels back 48 years to when she met her future husband, Tom. She tells the story of her pining for Tom and how their friendship turned into (an oft one-sided) courtship. The narrative framing allows her to offer insight into her past from the perch of the present (“I remember that I once felt intense and secret things, just like you, Patrick"). About Tom and Marion’s whirlwind wedding, she writes, “At the time it was thrilling, this dizzy rush into marriage, and it was flattering, too. But now I suspect he wanted to get it over with, before he changed his mind.” Eventually, the novel switches perspectives and offers Patrick’s journal entries from the past. He writes about his beloved job as a museum curator; his relationship with Tom (whom he calls “my policeman”); and navigating his sexuality during a time when being gay was illegal. As their lives become more entangled, Marion slowly realizes the truth about Patrick and Tom. When a rash and unforgivable decision is made, their lives are changed forever. The novel’s dueling perspectives allow both Marion and Patrick to explore the pain and joy of loving the same man. Roberts beautifully captures the devastation of being unable or unwilling to live in one’s truth, and the quiet ending offers a poignant moment of respite for everyone. Marion, Tom, and Patrick haven’t led the lives they expected or wanted to, but there’s still time left. Nothing can be taken back, but perhaps the truth can begin to heal them all.
A melancholy story about love, loss, and unnecessary suffering.