Tommy's mommy left poor Tommy/Sitting at the grocery store."" Thinking he's a salami (a black bit of humor, since all the characters here are pigs), the grocer sells him as one; fortunately, the purchaser ""realizes"" that he's a potato, since he has eyes, and takes him back. So it goes, as one purchaser after another reidentifies the piglet (he has a neck and is a bottle; skin--a banana; legs--a table; etc.). Finally, Mom returns and points out that Tommy is warm and sweet. Says the grocer: "" 'Lady, that's a pie.'/'If that's a pie,' the lady said,/'Then, Mister, so am I.' "" The deft verse makes this clever reworking of a familiar theme still more amusing; Chess's pseudo-realistic illustrations--showing neat arrays of identical, unpiglike merchandise--help point up the preposterous nature of the story. Grossman was also the perpetrator of Donna O'Neeshuck Was Chased by Some Cows (1988); this is more good fun of that ilk.