THROUGH THE WILDERNESS

A filmmaker, photographer, and “self-proclaimed bear nerd” tells the story of how personal tragedy pushed him to the edge and taught him how to live.

When Orsted lost his 15-month-old daughter, Marley, in 2010, he spiraled into a deep depression. His mother was taking care of Marley the day she died, and her inability to speak of what happened and articulate the cause of Marley’s sudden death effectively ended the already difficult relationship between mother and son. Looking for a new start, Orsted and his wife moved from Michigan to Yellowstone a year and a half after Marley’s death. However, the author’s overwhelming grief, which he continued to combat with a dangerous cocktail of alcohol and prescription medication, did not yield until he came face to face with a grizzly bear in the wild. The bear inspired a fear so profound it forced Orsted into the moment, “completely halting the merry-go-round of toxic sludge I’d been strapped to.” Afterward, he began reading “everything I could get my hands on” about grizzlies (he took particular solace in Doug Peacock’s Grizzly Years) before embarking on a venture to shoot documentaries about grizzly lives and habitats. Orsted’s work took an especially personal turn when he began to follow the progress of two grizzly cubs whose mother had been shot by a hunter. Though warned to keep “an emotional arm’s length,” the author nevertheless developed an attachment to the young bears. Sadly, the state of Montana later killed them for ranging too close to populated areas. Yet rather than fall prey to despair, Orsted found strength in the realization that the bears had helped him find the wholeness he had lost. “This is the gift of the grizzly,” he writes. As the author grapples with the meaning of unimaginable loss, he delivers a powerful, uplifting celebration of the healing power of nature.

A candid and affecting memoir of grief and discovering salvation in the wilderness.