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LIES BEHIND THE WOODS

A creep show that earns points for sheer bat-guano craziness.

A chance encounter during a noon jog sets in motion a plot that is increasingly bizarre and bleak.

Two miles and 16 minutes into his jog on his 25th birthday, Steve Breiten is almost run down by a careening pickup truck. As it passes, he believes he sees the driver restraining a screaming woman. But he waits a week before reporting it to police. Imagine his surprise when, several years later, Tara, the woman from the truck, shows up at his office. She had, in fact, been abducted and, according to her, subjected to unspeakable acts by “some nut job.” But now she has come to say thanks and show her enthusiastic gratitude. “You did асt, and it ѕаvеd my lifе!” she explains. “OK, mауbе it wаѕ lаtе, but I’m аlivе nоw.” She asks to stay the night with him. Steve asks himself, “What does she really want?” and begins to suspect that something is not right with this woman. Ain’t that the truth, but any further synopsizing would come under the heading of major spoilers. To Cornish’s (Dark Obscurity, 2019) credit, the ensuing jaw-dropping revelations could scarcely be anticipated. Things get loopier and loopier until the gut punch of a climax sets up a sequel. The reader is asked to swallow a lot in this dark ride of a book. All characters carry heavy baggage—parental abandonment, physical abuse, domestic violence, and sexual abuse. Cornish is also prone to dropping OMG moments without proper exposition, like when Steve tries his best not to succumb to Tara’s seductive advances. “Lеt’ѕ put аѕidе thаt I’ve hаd ѕеx with уоur mother,” he protests. Wait, what? (It’s explained a few pages later). One sex scene gets tangled in mixed metaphors (“He knew she wanted to dance....Thоѕе luscious fаrm-bred apples…now ѕрrеаd оut fоr him likе a banquet, he just hаd tо ѕtор and ѕаvоr her sweet cherries”). A more vigilant editor would have trimmed repetitive sentences and misspellings.

A creep show that earns points for sheer bat-guano craziness.

Pub Date: N/A

ISBN: 978-0-578-59361-6

Page Count: 228

Publisher: Self

Review Posted Online: Jan. 29, 2020

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SUMMER ISLAND

The best-selling author of tearjerkers like Angel Falls (2000) serves up yet another mountain of mush, topped off with...

Talk-show queen takes tumble as millions jeer.

Nora Bridges is a wildly popular radio spokesperson for family-first virtues, but her loyal listeners don't know that she walked out on her husband and teenaged daughters years ago and didn't look back. Now that a former lover has sold racy pix of naked Nora and horny himself to a national tabloid, her estranged daughter Ruby, an unsuccessful stand-up comic in Los Angeles, has been approached to pen a tell-all. Greedy for the fat fee she's been promised, Ruby agrees and heads for the San Juan Islands, eager to get reacquainted with the mom she plans to betray. Once in the family homestead, nasty Ruby alternately sulks and glares at her mother, who is temporarily wheelchair-bound as a result of a post-scandal car crash. Uncaring, Ruby begins writing her side of the story when she's not strolling on the beach with former sweetheart Dean Sloan, the son of wealthy socialites who basically ignored him and his gay brother Eric. Eric, now dying of cancer and also in a wheelchair, has returned to the island. This dismal threesome catch up on old times, recalling their childhood idylls on the island. After Ruby's perfect big sister Caroline shows up, there's another round of heartfelt talk. Nora gradually reveals the truth about her unloving husband and her late father's alcoholism, which led her to seek the approval of others at the cost of her own peace of mind. And so on. Ruby is aghast to discover that she doesn't know everything after all, but Dean offers her subdued comfort. Happy endings await almost everyone—except for readers of this nobly preachy snifflefest.

The best-selling author of tearjerkers like Angel Falls (2000) serves up yet another mountain of mush, topped off with syrupy platitudes about life and love.

Pub Date: March 1, 2001

ISBN: 0-609-60737-5

Page Count: 336

Publisher: Crown

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 15, 2001

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LAST ORDERS

Britisher Swift's sixth novel (Ever After, 1992 etc.) and fourth to appear here is a slow-to-start but then captivating tale of English working-class families in the four decades following WW II. When Jack Dodds dies suddenly of cancer after years of running a butcher shop in London, he leaves a strange request—namely, that his ashes be scattered off Margate pier into the sea. And who could better be suited to fulfill this wish than his three oldest drinking buddies—insurance man Ray, vegetable seller Lenny, and undertaker Vic, all of whom, like Jack himself, fought also as soldiers or sailors in the long-ago world war. Swift's narrative start, with its potential for the melodramatic, is developed instead with an economy, heart, and eye that release (through the characters' own voices, one after another) the story's humanity and depth instead of its schmaltz. The jokes may be weak and self- conscious when the three old friends meet at their local pub in the company of the urn holding Jack's ashes; but once the group gets on the road, in an expensive car driven by Jack's adoptive son, Vince, the story starts gradually to move forward, cohere, and deepen. The reader learns in time why it is that no wife comes along, why three marriages out of three broke apart, and why Vince always hated his stepfather Jack and still does—or so he thinks. There will be stories of innocent youth, suffering wives, early loves, lost daughters, secret affairs, and old antagonisms—including a fistfight over the dead on an English hilltop, and a strewing of Jack's ashes into roiling seawaves that will draw up feelings perhaps unexpectedly strong. Without affectation, Swift listens closely to the lives that are his subject and creates a songbook of voices part lyric, part epic, part working-class social realism—with, in all, the ring to it of the honest, human, and true.

Pub Date: April 5, 1996

ISBN: 0-679-41224-7

Page Count: 304

Publisher: Knopf

Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 15, 1996

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