THE LAST WEEKEND

A debut memoir about losing a beloved husband offers a step-by-step guide to surviving widowhood.

On April 29, 2017, Schneider’s husband of nearly 30 years had a massive heart attack in their garage. As the nightmare crisis unfolded, she cried out: “Oh, Bill! You are my life, my love. Please don’t leave me. I don’t want to go through life without you!” He died a short time later, despite the efforts of a hospital staff to save him. The author was devastated. With Bill’s swift departure, she found herself a member of a club that she did not wish to join—“the widow/widower club” where “the dues are extreme.” Her problems began before club membership on the ride to the hospital. She had texted her daughter but could not respond to her calls because the 911 Emergency Network locked her phone to identify her location. (Note: Rebooting solves the problem.) Schneider found the funeral planning particularly difficult: “You now have to deal with other people who really don’t give a crap that you just lost the love of your life.” Funeral details included deciding on the obituary, its posting date, and the newspaper to be used, along with “the program, pallbearers, the songs,” and more. She sent emails featuring the online obituary to an insurance agent and a cellphone company in order to prove her husband’s death. Although a tale of pain, the author’s straightforward writing skillfully communicates the great love that she and her husband shared as well as her profound grief over losing him. While her assertion “I don’t want to go on without him!” borders on the maudlin, she always finds reasons to stay the course. Readers will appreciate Schneider’s empathetic counsel, as when she tells readers to be aware of the fog they are in—“Widow fog”—equating grief with PTSD. She advises: “Reach out to those who truly understand what you’re going through,” suggesting the Hope for Widows Foundation. The family photographs of Bill and the “Death Discussion Checklist” at the end are likely to strike an unsettling chord among the not yet widowed.

A thought-provoking read that deftly drives home the trauma of suddenly losing a spouse.