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BANK ROBBERS by C. Clark Criscuolo

BANK ROBBERS

By C. Clark Criscuolo

Pub Date: Feb. 8th, 1995
ISBN: 0-312-11750-7
Publisher: St. Martin's

 Fed up with a system that won't even cover treatment for her osteoporosis, Dottie Weist, The Geezer That Roared, decides to rob a bank so she can get caught and bunk in the same secure digs as Leona Helmsley. Before she can rob a bank, though, she needs to pick out a branch close to a good precinct (nothing too scruffy for her first night in stir) and get herself a gun. And before she gets a gun, she needs to get the name of a likely salesman from Teresa Newhouse, an equally vinegary old acquaintance who is emphatically not her friend. There's so much to do before Dottie can rob that bank, in fact, that for a while you may be afraid she's never going to get there, especially after the pawnbroker who sells her the gun turns out to be legitimate businessman Arthur MacGregor, once the great love of her life before he was sent up for the first of many prison terms--for bank robbery, natch. Dottie eventually does pull off her bank job, but like the Duchy of Grand Fenwick, she's too successful for her own good. The cops don't catch her, even though they have a videotape that the networks seem to be running night and day. This winsome fairy tale sounds much funnier than it is, because Criscuolo drops the farcical twists of his lovely debut Wiseguys in Love (1993) for the leaden pacing of an overinflated sitcom.