A capacity glut of hotel-related anecdotes, most of the Elks Night variety, with a few statistics and PR rooty-toots about the great chains wedged in here and there. Hotel/motel owners and managers, clerks, publicity men, house detectives, doormen and even chaplains are the foci for jollities involving hankypanky in the halls and unbridled suites, guests sighted in the buff singly and in pairs, and practical jokes. A few may raise a smile such as the sign at a Miami beach when the lifeguard was off duty: ""The Ocean is Closed."" Except for a brief appreciation of the Holiday Inn and Hefner mystiques, that's about it. A hefty item -- just the thing for holding open your Gideon Bible.